Growing up, I wasn’t the girl that fantasized about being a mother. Baby dolls weren’t really my thing, and I didn’t grow up in a family with a lot of children. If I’m not mistaken, my now husband told me in the first year of our relationship (junior year of high school) that he wanted to make it clear that he didn’t want kids; I was totally fine with it.
Fast forward to the end of college- I don’t know if it was because Noah and I loved (and still love) each other so much, but we both started getting baby fever. As our time as students was ending, all I could think about was what Noah would be like as a father. I guess that is when my maternal drive finally kicked in. I stopped taking my birth control pill, and I was ready to leave my life up to chance.
If you’ve been reading my blogs or keep up with me, you know that there are lot of messy and hard times with my feminine health since the day I gave up birth control. I never knew just how difficult my hopeful journey to motherhood would be.
Fast forward to now- I couldn’t be more happy to officially announce that Noah and I are pregnant! We are already both so in love with the little soul growing inside of me. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time was one of the most mind-blowing experiences of my life. While in the tiny ultrasound room with my husband by my side, I knew we could handle anything together.
Yes, there are definitely negative symptoms that come with being pregnant (especially in the first trimester). I have never wanted sugar and artificial watermelon flavoring so badly in my whole entire life. Tears literally began to form in my eyes when I saw the glorious masses of Valentine’s Day candy at Target. That said, hunger doesn’t really exist to me anymore. I am either fine and satiated or nauseous- one of the two. It also goes without saying that fatigue has entered the building.
Even with all of these aspects of my body that I don’t recognize, I feel womanly and confident. Just knowing my child is a part of me keeps me going. It makes this pregnancy amazing. I can’t wait to feel the baby for the first time and to hold my child close.
There are so many unknowns ahead. Noah and I have more to learn than I can even imagine. However, we have the greatest gift on our side: love. The love we have for each other, the love our family has expressed, and the love our friends have poured out for us is astounding. We thought we were ready years ago in college, but it is clear to me now that this is what God had in plan for us.
So look out world: Baby Czereszko is on the way- August 2020.